Interview with Jun "The Boy Full of Worries"

Violent and beautiful head banging creator, person, who plays a great role in Golden Bomber’s visual part, Utahiroba Jun.
He liked Takarazuka and visual kei from the tender age, but couldn’t tell it anyone, he considered himself to be a “usual” person with no talent.
Such full of worries boy had once accidentally on Golden Bomber live recognized Kiryuuin Shou’s talent and was shocked by it.
Assigned reading for all boys and girls who are full of worries,
“The Story of Transformation” from “seeing” side to “expressing” side.

- Please tell your stage name origin.

Before I was accepted in band, there was still a previous drummer, but in the names of all band members, Kiryuuin Sho, Kyan Yutaka, the surname consisted of 3 kanji, the name was one-kanji. That’s why I was considering to have the same type of name. Once walking down the street I noticed a sign “Karaoke Utahiroba”. Catchy, easy to remember, karaoke often visited by bangyaru, possible to shorten - that’s why I’ve chosen this name. My first name is my real name.

- When you were little, what kind of child were you?

I was an obedient child but I liked to show off. My “self” has arisen around 21 years, so I can’t remember well (laughs). Lately I was giving interviews and so I recalled various memories, but the thing that influenced me the most as I am now is Takarazuka*. At that time I lived in Hyougo prefecture, Nishinomiya town, and in the neighbourhood there was a race track. When summer holidays began, people from Takarazuka used to come there, and they held events where they sang and danced.
When I was in the first year of elementary school my parents took me along, I happened to see Takarazuka by chance, and in an instant my heart was captured. From the childhood times I liked dazzling and impressive things. In a crowd of children in short pants and shirts, who were going to primary school, I wanted to be dressed up if it was possible.

- You’ve gotten into Takarazuka very much?

It was once a year only but I watched it when mom had taken me with her. I’ve gotten into Takarazuka very strongly when I started high school, when I started to get money by myself. I went to watch performances, bought DVDs. I had this kind of feeling from the time when I was little, that’s why, naturally, I started liking visual key.
In the 5,6th years of the primary school I watched Shazna on TV, watched the PV’s in Western music “Culture Club”. After that, in the middle school I came across Rafael and Lareine, I was totally immersed in “the visual kei” bands of that time.

- You weren’t interested in things like sport?

My mom was an “education mom” that’s why I practiced different things. Swimming, piano, calligraphy, soroban*, juku [coaching school]*. I also played soccer. But because I was told to do all these, I didn’t enjoy it at all. That’s why, naturally, I dropped them in the end. From the time when I was a kid, I always had a feeling that before I realised it my enthusiasm was fading. But I loved reading.

- Which novels did you like?

Ryou Murakami-san. I was in primary school then, so I read them but didn’t understand the meaning. But I thought the depiction was skillful. I liked how he didn’t use direct words like “happy” when expressing the happy moments, how he described the sceneries and expressed emotions.

- You were in the primary school, and you still discerned these things?

As for me, I liked things with very strong anti-spirit, which differed from the surrounding. In my surrounding there were no people who liked visual kei or Takarazuka, but for a boy in a period of puberty it was comfortable. I also thought that even if you don’t understand the content, if you read difficult books, you will become smarter. How silly, wasn’t it (laughs).

- Did you cope with the school studies?

I coped rather well (laughs). I didn’t have a hobby to do with great enthusiasm, I also didn’t have friends, so to the halfway of the middle school I did really very well, I think. In the primary school I also used to be a chairman of children’s assembly. Mom often talks about it when she’s missing the old times, so I was an appropriate boy I think.

- Good child who’s studying?

I think I was “The good child”. But surely, something was accumulating inside of me, and on the halfway of the middle school I exploded. “I want to do things that I like” - I started to rebel. So after that I was completely in visual kei and counter-culture.

- You liked Takarazuka from the childhood times, so haven’t a thought occurred to you that you want to sing or play in performances yourself?

As for Takarazuka, I enjoyed watching it. With visual kei it was the same. I came to realise it when I was in university, but I’m a usual man. How should I put it, I thought that it’s not necessary for usual people to express themselves.

- What was the background for such a discovery?

I went to the fine arts university. “I’m different from other people. Hehe”, - when I went there so full of bare self-consciousness, I was almost shocked that there were lots of guys who were the same. Comparing to me there also were many people who didn’t understand art. Seeing this, I thought that me, that people, this university aren’t so very great, all are usual. I was going to study the way of expressing oneself, but there turned out to be no great need to express myself.
From the first year there was a finding employment guidance, among the places of employment there were several ordinary enterprises, I thought “I’m a usual man. I have no such thing like talent.” But after that, when I met Kiryuuin Shou, I had had a strong feeling; I think I had talent to recognize person, who has talent. I think I’ve got no talent to express myself, to write [literary works], but because I had talent to stay beside talented person, I am now in Golden Bomber. That is what I think.

- Returning to the talk, what was the reason for you in elementary school times to get into visual kei?

At that time, on the TV there was broadcasted music sang in T-shirts and jeans, and you got bored of it, right? Just when The Great Four of the Visual Kei [Shazna, La’cryma Christi, Malice Mizer, Fanatic Crisis] were very popular, I also liked Oikawa Mitsuhiro very much. I liked gorgeous and dazzling personalities.

- Didn’t you have a desire to make music, to make a band?

I didn’t have at all. My attitude to the people, whom I observed, reminded my attitude to Takarazuka. There are people who express themselves and there is me who watches it, so that’s cool, - I had developed that style of thinking.

- Were you interested in anything except visual kei in middle school?

I wasn’t. I was completely into visual kei. Ah, but in the middle school I joined the wind instrument music club, and took part in prefecture conventions. When I joined, I thought that if I could play an instrument, I may become cool. For some reason I couldn’t leave the club for 3 years.
In the wind instrument club there were girls only, I was the only boy. There again, “I like V-Kei, but I can’t tell it”, “Other people don’t understand the things which I like “. This attitude of mine - that I can’t tell anything - which had been fostered from the childhood time, has strongly hardened.
During the three years of middle school, the feeling that there are no people who can understand me has completely established.

- Didn’t you think about quitting the wind instrument music club?

It was bothersome to quit. I diligently played, but I thought things like “I live with such feeling, and you think you played so perfectly, that everyone’s hearts have become one?” What a bad guy, wasn’t I? (laughs)

- You’ve said you went to the fine arts university, so why did you choose it?

Middle school was a stormy place, but the high school I went to had strict rules and simple uniform. It was a school for serious and proper children. Who were smart enough to go to the Todai*, but when got recommendations to the local second-rate universities they were happy and seemed to decide to go there.
At that time I had absolutely decided to go to Tokyo. I was from Chiba, but I vaguely longed for Tokyo. In my surrounding there were mainly “average” people, I wasn’t very smart, but I decided to study hard and go to Tokyo university. I went to the Fine Arts Department of Nihon Daigaku. “Nichidai* is artistic university, rebellious guys gather there” - was written in the book. “I want to go there!” That’s why I studied and I succeed.
From my high school I was the only one who entered Nichidai, and teachers were very happy. I don’t mean to criticize the rural areas, but the will to turn to the outside is steadily disappearing there, isn’t it. In the small communities people seem to be satisfied with talk topics like “In that bakery bread was cheap today.” It wasn’t enough for me. At that time I didn’t understand what is happening, but anyway, I had strong consciousness that I want to go outside.

- Nichidai has many courses of study, which one did you choose?

From the older days I liked books, so I took Literary Arts course of study. I was also interested in films and drama, but I wasn’t blessed with good appearance. So I had to write prose or paint pictures. I didn’t like painting very much, so I thought I’d like to write, and went to the literature department, where I could study the art of writing.

- You studied with all your might to pass the entrance exams?

Yes, I did. I studied while listening to my favourite album of Lareine “Fierte no Umi to Tomo ni Kiyu - The Last Of Romance”

- Lareine is the former band of Versaille’s KAMIJO, it was entangled in complicated situation and story, it has created specific world, right? How did you explain it?

Seems like I can explain it seriously now, but at that time I simply listened to KAMIJO-san, charmed by his beautiful appearance. The complicated story also attracted me, although I couldn’t understand it. But when studying, I translated English lyrics and became interested in studying English that way (laughs).

- When the student life in the desired university started, did you study literature?

Completely… didn’t study! Nihon Daigaku Fine Arts Literary Arts Faculty is said to be the second most leisurely faculty in Japan (sarcastic laugh). But I was happy to have come to Tokyo and to be at the Fine Arts faculty, I wanted to try doing different things. I took part in drama group, I went to study at the painting classes, at the broadcast course I learned how to make radio programs, but it was all not very interesting. Maybe because the objectives didn’t match with my desires, I think. But the intention to go out and the reality, where I stopped studying, matched. I did well on the entrance exams, but when I entered the university I simply suddenly began slacking off.

- You didn’t go to the university most of the time?

Yeah, I didn’t go. From the first month skipping the university was really too enjoyable. I left home, started living alone, the freedom turned my head. Understanding, that freedom has its own sorrows, was in distant future. I was drowned in freedom. It was like lassitude… But I loved visual kei. It matched the feeling of decadence, right? (laughs) I had had fun all night long, in the morning, when common salaryman were on their way to the station, I, on the contrary, was walking back home, and I felt happy because of it. The typical bad student.

- But you’ve said you’ve experienced the sorrows of the freedom?

I said “the punishment of freedom”, because I had to bear responsibility of what to do also by myself, and I was almost crushed by this pressure. In the moratorium period* everyone thinks about things, but I was quite deeply tormented. I can talk about it calmly now, but at that time I had feeling like “No one understands the distress of precious me”. I had an excess of self-consciousness (laughs). I was steadily becoming useless, but I liked the “becoming useless” me. I didn’t have the sense of impending crisis.

- You didn’t stay out from the society?

No, I didn’t. Because my purpose was to go outside. Although I didn’t understand what I should do. I wanted to be connected to something, so one period of time I was strongly into mixi. When you join “my mixi”*, you obtain an opportunity to read each other’s journals, but it was wrong to think that if I join “my mixi”, the number of my true friends really increases. When I didn’t go to the university, I spent time adding friends to my mixi. How stupid, isn’t it. I also visited places like the huge online dating website of my university (laughs).

- Did you write novels?

Yes. I wrote not interesting, full of bare self-consciousness kind of novels. I was a rebel, so I decided not to write things about love. 99% of novels written by people of my generation were about love. Because it was the closest and most interesting topic for us. But I wasn’t going to write about it at all, I wrote a story about eating a dog.

- Eh? Story about eating a dog?

I liked such freaky things.

- It was subculture, right?

To tell in short, yes. But I didn’t like calling it “subculture”. That’s why I didn’t have a place to go to. At that time I thought I was like a bat. I wasn’t a bird to fly with wings. Wherever I went, I was disliked, so I couldn’t go anywhere. You may think for a usual bat it’s ok, but I thought it was bad, so wherever I placed myself, I was always full of worries.

- At that time, visual kei was your cure?

Yes. I was deep into it, as usual. The Fine Arts faculty has 2 buildings, students in the 3rd and 4th years go to Ekoda station. That’s why I came to use the Seibu Ikebukuro line, and started going to Ikebukuro Cyber. Before that I went only to the halls, but then Ikebukuro added to the sphere of my daily existence. When I first went to see the free live in Ikebukuro Cyber, by chance I happened to see Golden Bomber.

- Eh, you went in the Cyber for the first time and saw Golden Bomber?

Yes. At the visual scene at that time there was a boom of free lives. Among lots of bands performing, Golden Bomber was, just like now, air-band, obviously conspicuous. My chest was shoot out in one shot.
This overlapped with me, who didn’t know where to find my place. They use make-up, which is common visual kei thing, they do things completely different from the other bands. It felt like unbelievable affinity. It was like a great shock, it made me very excited.

- So, did you undertake something?

That day I checked their homepage, and became interested even more. The energy, which has been accumulated until now, all turned and started to flow in that direction. At that time I liked Ayabie with Ryouhei-san, Vidoll, Gazette.
But Golden Bomber differed from them completely, so that day I listened to all the songs which were put to listen on their homepage. I thought “The lyrics and music are all made by Kiryuuin, that’s amazing”, and the next day I sent a fanmail.

- What did you write?

I listed the words of praise. At that time on the homepage in the big letters it was written “Looking for bass”. But if I was Kiryuuin Shou, I would definitely say no to a guy, who had seen the live only once, suddenly praised me, and told me that he wants to become bassist, - I thought so. So I finished the mail with the words “I’ll also go to the next live”.

- But you immediately thought you want to become bassist?

I had a bit of that feeling. However, polished by Takarazuka feeling of “If there is an amazing person, I’ll watch that person” didn’t change. I watched the second live, and while thinking “As I thought, this guy is awesome”, I also thought “Noone understands it”. The mood of the visitors wasn’t very good, but Kiryuuin-san from the beginning till the end performed with all his might. I was shocked: “There are no more people with such arrogant rebellious determination”. I don’t mean that I thought I can do something, but “if there is a vacant place, I must get it”. So I send a mail with my impressions and hopes for becoming a member.
At home I had a bass which I have received from senpai. I wrote “I can’t play the instrument, I have only desire to play”. And from Kiryuuin-san an answer came: “If you only have desire to play, that’s enough”. After that we met and I had a chance to talk. Anyway, I wanted to be understood by such person, and with all my might I talked about the things same to what I have told just now. How much rebellious I am, how much I’m not accepted by society, how much useless I am.
“That may seem impudent, but I feel like I’m similar with Kiryuuin-san in some way, one-sidedly I feel affinity. I feel what you want to do”, - I passionately told. In the end we have found mutual understanding. At that time I was about 21, but “I am a virgin. Kiryuuin-san is also absolutely a virgin, right?” I said it, and got “Nicely said” (laughs). Kyan Yutaka, who seemed to have calmly thrown away his virginity long ago, was sitting near with cold eyes. (laughs)

- (Laughs) After that you joined right away?

At first I was more like helping, I brought melon to Kyan-san to eat and did such kind of work. The band wasn’t playing instruments, so my human nature was observed, I think. After I had helped for some time, I started to go out on stage holding a bass.

- When you pretended to play the bass, did it come out naturally?

Until then I have listened to Golden Bomber songs a lot, in addition I also was bangyaru-man, who loved visual kei, I watched loads of DVD’s and photos. That’s why somehow I understood how you should play bass in visual kei band. Golden Bomber is rather visual kei, but we don’t understand visual kei very much, so we can contribute by faces - I thought so. I understood visual kei better than others, and I had two-tone hair.

- Do you remember the impressions from the first live?

First of all, there were almost no visitors. Then, I overdid head banging with all my might, so I couldn’t lift up the head after. At that time I still did moves in the back, later I understood that it wasn’t really necessary thing for Golden Bomber. If moving, move at a large scale, if leaving, leave before(*). Golden Bomber became a place, where I could sort out my bad sides, fixed ideas, my nothing to do, losing pride problems. I, who was apathic before, felt really excited, felt like jumping up and down like fish, which was given water. More than anything I greatly respect Kiryuuin-san, I’m his first fan, so I was very happy to be able to observe the process of creation of his from close. To be able to do something for a person whom I like, until then I hadn’t had in my life such opportunity. So I was very happy, and decided to try hard and started with the band.

- After that, had the attendance grown?

As a matter of fact, it was hopeless (laughs). But I thought Kiryuuin Shou’s songs were great, so I believed they certainly will be accepted.

- Now they became accepted, so how do you feel?

I’m terribly happy. I’m very glad that many people can be touched by the things, created by Kiryuuin Shou. I’m happy to be a part of it, but I’m happy the most that things, which I consider to be good, are also said to be good by other people.

- You became popular with girls?

Completely… no way I am popular. (laughs) I think both Kiryuuin Shou and Kyan Yutaka said “I’m not popular”, but I’m really not popular. Instead I want to become a representative of bangyaru.
My dream is that bangyaru would think about me, “Utahiro, isn’t he trying hard? He managed to become friends with Ryouhei-kun, isn’t it good?”
“If you always keep on thinking with love, it will reach the other party”, - if I could become giving such hope person, it would be nice, I think.

Credit to the wonderful and amazing l_b_r_h for translating this @ GB lj

I actually thought this was really interessting and amusing to read. Even now after reading it for the 2nd time. Especially the part about him wanting to be different and writing a novel about eating a dog instead of writing about love 8D
The boy full of worries sure is a good way to describe this one XD

Oh and congrats about becoming a mod 8D

I know, I thought this interview was going to be a silly one but it ended up being pretty serious. Writing the story about eating a dog is rather strange though but what can you expect? At least he's interesting to say the least. XD

Thank you~ I am rather happy about this. ^.^

I'd rather read his novel than the ones about love cause they actually are annoying (laughs) But yeah, I guess that's why it jumps out the way it does now. If he would've said this in an interview where the other are also present than it might've been less wtf-ish 8D

I understand. It's awsome how much time you put into things to support GB. You own blogs I spam a lot (sorry about that LOL) and now also this. I'm sure this forum will stay active. I was happy to see that this forum was made in the first place XD

If only we could get our hands on that story. XD
I agree, if the others were there it would have been a pretty "normal" thing to say. But since it was just an interview alone it stood out more.
I'm not sure how to put this right, but he sounded like a pretty upset child. >.< I think that description is a bit over the top though.
It's interesting that Jun is so absorbed in music. Basically reminds me of what all of us do. We live for seeing and listening to bands so it's odd hearing a band member that we admire having those same feelings. /ends rambling.
Don't apologize silly, I love when people spam the blog. XP Makes me feel like there are others out there that feel the same as me about them.
I'm also very happy this forum was made. I like reading other people's thoughts and such because this is a place to be more descriptive than on Tumblr.

They should publish it as an extra (laughs). I'd actually really want to read it. He really does sounds like he was a kid that did a lot of heavy thinking even if he didn't really mean to overthink stuff. He might have overdone it a little bit to make up a 'good' lifestory but I'm sure that the basics are true. I'm actually a bit surprised me that he is this way eventhough he's a more ... shy-ish type in GB (shy might not be the best wordt. Timid maybe? Ah you get what I mean I guess). Yeah you're absolutely right about the bands thing. I do the exact same thing (minus the fanmail XD) as he did. I travel to a lot of places to see bands and I can't go through a day without listening to music. Also the deep respect for some musicians. A lot of us share this I guess. It's great to hear that someone you listen to was/is the same way. He understands how important bands can be. Some musicians forget it after a while. /ends rambling.
I agree. It's also a way to actually talk to people cause on tumblr you're more hesitant and rather reblog and like everything that appeals to you XD

We would all be buying copies.... Hopefully it would have different translations and stuff. I would be upset to buy it and then realize I can't even read it haha.
Yeah I think timid is a better word. He holds back a lot while the others are letting loose XD

To be honest it frightens me a tad that he knows the mindset that we are thinking. How emotionally tied we are to some bands. Though it might help when they interact with fans. He would understand why we couldn't speak when saying hello and such. XP

Yesss, I catch myself reblogging more instead of writing my own. People don't take as much interest in written posts sometimes. Even with the meme, I hope people understand that we can be serious about the band as well.

If that happens, I'm gonna bug my friends to translate it for me for sure. We should ask him to share it with his fans after talking about it. It made us curious lol. His own fault.

I guess it has it up- and down-sides. They did turn down major labels and that is a good thing for us cause now they can stay the way they are now. At the other hand, they could use this mindset to tease us XD Yeah, altho I also feel like Jun would do everything to make you feel comfortable around him. Whenever I look at the pictures of the hand-shake-event from SIXH. and him I kind of have this 'awww' feeling. The way he held onto their hands with both of his hands, amazing and so cute.

Some take the meme's too serious as well, or the GB moments. Like the one about Yutaka's teeth. People reblogged it from me bitching about how his teeth are perfect while it wasn't even an insult. His teeth aren't perfect but perfectly fine. But yeah I agree and I think that after finding out more about GB that they are capable of realising you can be serious about them to. When they are over the shock and all lol.

/lol I have the feeling we're going off-topic 8D

So, to get this back on topic;

I have thought this so many times (though I used different words) during my youth: "No one understands the distress of precious me." xD I love this interview though. I like how he tries and tries and then rebels in the end. And some things he says just remind me of myself~

Plus, writing a novel about eating a dog? Is this published? I want to read it xD

It isn't. That's why we'd love to see it get published or at least released to a small audiance so we could read it. It sounds really interessting 8D A novel about eating a dog.